Cultivating a Culture of Honor
I recently traveled to South Korea with my husband, Joe, for a training event. It was an incredible experience made possible by my in-laws' willingness to care for our three very busy children, so I could attend the training alongside him.
While we were there, we spent a day exploring Seoul with a private tour guide. As we toured the historic palaces, we learned an interesting detail about the kings of the Joseon Dynasty. Although the king was carried throughout the palace on a royal palanquin, there was one exception. Whenever he approached the residence of his biological mother, he stepped down and walked the remainder of the distance to her. This act was one of reverence and honor. In that moment, he set aside the visible symbols of his political authority and approached his mother not as a king, but as a son honoring his elder.
That story stayed with me.
As part of a military family, ceremonies of honor are woven into our lives. We attend hail and farewells that recognize those arriving at and departing from their assignments. Military rank signifies responsibility and authority, and those who serve are shown appropriate respect.
Even outside the military, our culture recognizes honor. We name schools, parks, and public spaces after individuals whose lives have made a lasting impact. We preserve monuments to remember those who served our country, and we celebrate accomplishments through awards and public recognition. Much of our understanding of honor is tied to achievement, position, and integrity.
Our experiences and culture shape how we define honor. As Christians, however, we are called to something even greater. The dictionary defines honorable as "worthy of honor and high respect; estimable; creditable." Scripture expands that definition beyond recognition of accomplishments to a way of living that reflects the heart of Christ.
Honor Through Our Thoughts
In his letter to the Philippians, the Apostle Paul instructs believers to intentionally direct their minds toward what is honorable:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things” (Philippians 4:8–9, ESV).
Paul understood that our thoughts shape our lives. Rather than allowing our minds to dwell on bitterness, comparison, or negativity, we are to fill them with what is true, noble, and worthy of honor. As our thoughts are transformed, our actions naturally follow.
Living Honorably by Honoring Others
Paul continues this theme in Romans:
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves... Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality... Bless those who persecute you... Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another... Do not repay anyone evil for evil" (Romans 12:9–17, NIV).
This remarkable passage calls believers to demonstrate genuine love through tangible action. Paul encourages the church to outdo one another in showing honor. Instead of seeking recognition for ourselves, we are to actively look for opportunities to elevate others.
Biblical honor is rooted in humility. It means giving preference to others, considering their needs before our own, and choosing love even when it is inconvenient.
This mindset stands in sharp contrast to Western culture, which often celebrates self-promotion, independence, and personal achievement. The kingdom of God invites us into a different way of living.
Honoring Through Hospitality
One practical expression of honor is hospitality.
In the early church, believers gathered in homes, shared meals, opened their lives to one another, and generously met one another's needs. Hospitality was not about entertaining—it was about creating space for relationships.
The same is true today. Our homes do not have to be spotless, beautifully decorated, or filled with elaborate meals. When we invite people into our homes, we invite them into our lives.
I've discovered that while I may have many wonderful friendships, there is often a deeper intimacy once someone crosses the threshold of my home. Whether sharing coffee around the kitchen table, drinking tea on the porch, or navigating toys scattered across the living room with juice boxes on the table, hospitality communicates, "You are welcome here. You matter."
The best mindset to keep when opening your home is not to expect it to be reciprocated. This protects your heart from taking any root of bitterness when you are obedient to the Lord to open your home time and time again without a returned invitation.
Our homes become places where people experience the love and honor of Christ.
Honoring Through Our Words
Creating a culture of honor also involves the way we speak.
Scripture reminds us that our words carry tremendous power. James teaches that the tongue can bring both life and destruction. Our words can encourage or discourage, heal or wound.
When we practice self-control, we choose words that build others up instead of tearing them down. We refuse gossip, criticism, and harsh speech. Instead, we become people who encourage, affirm, and speak truth with grace.
Honoring others often begins with what comes out of our mouths.
Honoring God
Ultimately, every act of honor begins with honoring God.
The kingdom of God is often described as an upside-down kingdom because it values what the world overlooks. The King of kings took on human flesh, not to be served, but to serve. Jesus washed His disciples' feet, comforted the hurting, welcomed the outcast, and ultimately demonstrated the greatest act of honor and love by laying down His life for us.
We honor God by acknowledging Him as the one true God and confessing Jesus Christ as Lord. We honor Him by recognizing that salvation comes through His life, death, and resurrection. We honor Him through our worship, our obedience, and our willingness to reflect His character in the way we treat others.
When we cultivate a culture of honor, we become people who think honorably, speak honorably, serve honorably, and love honorably. In doing so, we reflect the heart of Christ to a world longing to experience His love.
Prayer:
Lord, please forgive me where I have regarded myself more highly than I ought to. Give me a heart of humility that recognizes and desires to honor others with my thoughts, words, and actions. Give me a heart to encourage others. Help me to utilize my home for hospitality. God, I desire to not only honor others, but I desire for my life to honor you through my testimony of your goodness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Practical Ways to Practice Honor:
Honor Others Above Yourself
Listen without interrupting.
Celebrate another person's success without comparison or jealousy.
Give credit where it is due.
Assume the best of others rather than their motives.
Look for opportunities to serve without expecting recognition.
Honor Through Your Words
Speak encouragement more often than criticism.
Refuse to participate in gossip.
Correct others with gentleness and love.
Express gratitude frequently.
Speak respectfully even when you disagree.
Practice Hospitality
Invite someone into your home for coffee or a meal.
Make room for people who may feel overlooked.
Welcome newcomers at church.
Share your table with someone who cannot repay you.
Honor Within Your Family
Speak respectfully to your spouse, even during conflict.
Thank your parents for their sacrifices.
Show patience toward your children instead of responding in anger.
Pray for your family members regularly.
Honor Leaders
Pray for church, community, and government leaders.
Show respect even when you disagree with decisions.
Encourage pastors, ministry leaders, teachers, and mentors.
Follow authority unless it requires disobedience to God.