Created for Community: Why Biblical Friendship Still Matters
As I sat across a Formica table from eyes welling with unshed tears, she shared pieces of her past while searching my face for a reaction. When her story ended, all I felt was honored—honored that she trusted me with something so personal. She was relieved not to be rejected, and I was excited to have found a new friend.
I want to preface this blog post by saying that I do not typically enjoy topical posts. However, in recent years, I have encountered more and more people—often slightly younger than myself—who genuinely do not know how to cultivate friendships. I believe we were created for relationships and community, and so this post will explore what biblical friendship looks like.
As a military spouse, I often receive sympathy when people learn how frequently my family moves. Many wonder how we continually start over, rebuilding community and friendships every few years. In 2025 alone, our family moved twice, the last time just before Christmas, leaving behind dear friends. Military spouses seem to develop a competitive edge in the friend-making arena simply due to repetition and necessity.
So, how, as Christians, are we called into relationship? And how do we cultivate God-honoring friendships?
Relationship was not only cultivated between God and humanity; in Genesis, God clearly states that it was not good for Adam to be alone. He created Eve as his wife. Beyond marriage, we were created to be part of the Body of Christ, living in community. Throughout Scripture, we see meaningful friendships highlighted—David and Jonathan, Paul and Silas, Jesus with Mary, Martha, and Lazarus, to name a few.
We were created to do life together.
As I have grown older, I have noticed that isolation is a powerful tool of the Enemy. Many people come home from work or school and immediately retreat into screens, gaming systems, or social media. Often, individuals do not know how to begin or sustain friendships. We are living amid a loneliness epidemic. Barna Research reports that 31% of adults feel lonely at some point during their day, and the churched population reports loneliness at nearly the same rate.
So what is the purpose of friendship?
The book of Proverbs affirms that friendship is meant to sharpen us: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Through relationships, we are challenged and refined. Friendship provides accountability and the opportunity to both give and receive loving, constructive feedback.
Friendship is also meant to help carry one another’s burdens. The Apostle Paul encourages the church in Galatia to support one another with practical care, especially those walking through hardship.
Biblical friendship is loyal. I have been part of friend groups where gossip and slander were common, and few things are more damaging or divisive. If we call someone a friend, we are called to loyalty: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). When conflict or sin arises, Scripture calls us to follow the Matthew 18 model—to go directly to the individual in love and address the issue honestly. If it is not received, then continue to follow the Matthew 18 model to help the friend stay the course.
Throughout our years in the military, friendship has been a lifeline during my husband’s absences due to training and deployment. When we were newly married and living in Colorado, I remember waking up to heavy snowfall. Our neighbors—who had become friends—noticed and took the time to shovel my driveway as a simple act of kindness and care.
Likewise, I have been blessed to support friends through playdates, shared meals, coffee dates, or even just meaningful conversations. These small, faithful acts of presence are often where friendship is strengthened most.
One of the easiest ways to begin a friendship, especially if you have kids, is to meet at a park for a playdate. It’s a great way to begin to get to know someone. Recently, we moved into our home 6 days before Christmas; however, we had some friends here that we were desiring to know better, so we decided to host a New Year’s get-together. Both families were excited to be invited to our home, even though we were not completely unpacked and undecorated.
Don’t worry if your home isn’t spectacular or undecorated; it’s amazing how God can forge friendship over water, coffee, or tea and a good conversation. Introverted? No problem. Come up with a mental list of questions to ask the other person about themselves. I have only ever found myself in a situation one time where the person didn’t want to talk about herself. It was awkward, but she was obviously okay with silence. So I improvised and shared a little about myself. Haha.
Biblical friendship does not require perfection, extroversion, or a beautifully curated home. It requires willingness—willingness to be present, to listen, to invite, and to love. Friendship often begins not with grand gestures, but with small acts of faithfulness: an invitation to coffee, a shared meal, a conversation at the park, or the courage to say, “Would you like to spend time together?”
In a world that increasingly chooses isolation, Christians are called to live differently. We are called to open our lives, our tables, and our hearts to one another. God uses ordinary moments and simple obedience to form deep, lasting connections. When we step out in faith—despite fear of rejection, awkwardness, or imperfection—we mirror the relational heart of God Himself.
May we be people who notice one another, who choose loyalty over gossip, presence over convenience, and love over comfort. May we be the kind of friends who reflect Christ—faithful, compassionate, and willing to walk alongside one another in every season of life.
Reflection Questions
How have your past experiences shaped the way you approach friendship today?
Are there ways you may be unintentionally choosing isolation over community?
Who has God placed in your life right now that you could intentionally pursue in friendship?
In what ways can you practice biblical loyalty and love in your current friendships?
Is there a step that God may be inviting you to take toward building deeper community?
Prayer Points
Ask God to reveal any fears, wounds, or habits that may be hindering you from pursuing friendship.
Pray for the courage to step out in faith and initiate connections with others.
Thank God for the friendships He has already placed in your life, both past and present.
Ask the Lord to help you be a friend who reflects Christ’s love, grace, and faithfulness.
Pray for those who are lonely—that they would be seen, loved, and welcomed into community.