Surrendering the Grip: What James 1 Taught Me About Control
The study of the first chapter of James is both edifying and extremely convicting. James, the half-brother of Jesus, is writing a letter to believers scattered throughout the world because of persecution, and his objective is not only to encourage these saints but also to help them mature in their faith.
We never arrive when it comes to our faith. God is always stretching and growing us more into the image of Christ. This is the sanctification process. We have been sanctified (positionally) by Jesus’ blood on the cross, but we are continuing to be sanctified (progressively), and someday I will be completely sanctified (ultimately) in eternal life with Jesus. I say all this to say that a major struggle of mine is the love for control, and it’s an area I am currently being sanctified in.
Most of us do love control. It's just an area I can feel God's finger on right now. As a military spouse, there are so many stressors that can be whirling at you through your weeks and months, not to mention your days, coupled with separation from your servicemember, and a changing zip code often. My cortisol spikes, and I white-knuckle anything that feels stable. The feeling that I am in control is really just an illusion, and if I were wise, I would realize I need to lighten my grip. That craving for control doesn't stay contained, though.
The problem with my need to control is that it quickly morphs into other sinful patterns. So much, in fact, that I have to recognize when stress turns to frustration and quickly into anger, especially at those that I love the most. The irony of it all is that the need to control can become a lack of self-control, particularly in my words. There are days, especially with my kids, when I have to ask the Lord to help me listen rather than respond, and to remain consistent in character because I am angry at the chaos that has unfolded in my home due to sibling rivalry. James addresses a struggle that the early church seemed to wrestle with in the First Century, that we still struggle with in the 21st Century:
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.
26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
This passage makes it clear that God’s word cannot take root in someone’s life and bear fruit if we hold on to moral corruption. Every area, especially as the Holy Spirit reveals it to us, has to be surrendered to God. The emotion of anger is not the sin; it is anger rooted in a progression from emotion to agitation to violence. Although many of us do not become violent when angry, oftentimes, unbridled anger can lead to words that cut. That is why James directs the believer to be quick to listen and slow to speak.
James admonishes the Church to not just hear the Word but to live it out. He confronts the duplicity of hearing God’s word and not experiencing the transformative work of the Word, like one who looks in the mirror and promptly forgets what they just saw. No one does that! Hearing without doing is its own form of unfaithfulness. We aren't left to white-knuckle our way into obedience, though. Jesus' death is perfected and fulfilled in the moral law the Jews followed in the Old Testament.
Through faith in Jesus, the Law is internalized and fulfilled in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, who produces fruit in believers (Galatians 5:22-23; John 15). Self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit, and it is a supernatural fruit, which can only be on display when abiding in Jesus.
James concludes this section with the final encouragement to live out their faith. That believers are to crucify the flesh, as the Apostle Paul writes, and to care for the least of these, which in the First Century was the orphan and the widow due to a lack of financial provision and male covering. So, in other words, put feet to your faith.
So what now? I sit in my comfy devotional chair, thinking about another busy week and all the “To-Do” boxes that need to be checked off in my home, and I have a choice. When chaos erupts, can I pause and respond to the sibling rivalry with a firm and loving directive, or am I going to meet the crazy with my own out-of-control, loud reaction? Can I pause and take my thoughts and actions captive to respond Christ-like toward my children or anything that rubs me the wrong way? By the power of His Spirit, yes, I can!
Prayer:
Lord, every day I fall short either in word, thought, or deed. I surrender my need to control, which leads to my agitation when things do not go the way I plan. I ask you to forgive me for those times of anger. When I have moments of anger or feel the need to speak, help me to bridle my tongue. Lord, I pray that you would help me to edify those around me and be known as a person whose character matches what they preach. As I abide in you, I ask that you would help me practice and exhibit self-control and be full of your grace. Amen.
Reflection Questions
Where in your life are you white-knuckling control right now? What would it look like to loosen your grip and trust God with that specific situation?
James says to be "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry" (James 1:19). When was the last time your need for control turned into frustration or anger toward someone you love?
The passage warns against being a hearer of the word who forgets what they've seen, like someone looking in a mirror. Is there an area where you've heard God's truth but haven't yet put it into action? What's one concrete step you could take this week?